Die to me.

When I write, there is always music playing in my head, and what ever I'm rhyming it follows a certain tune.
So if this sounds odd to you... well... sorry ><

~~~~~~~
Don't you know what this looks like?
Cant you tell how this feels.
My emotions are burning- my insides-
This all seems so unreal.

You cant say that your sorry
If you cant hear me cry;
All of my demons are hunting me down,
I'm giving up my freedoms-
I'm ready to drown.

Take it away, take it all
I'm ready to be lonely to be empty,
All I am is a lie.
I could not find the light;
My travels are over.
I gave up the fight,
I'm getting pulled under-
Don't rescue me,
Don't save my life.
Don't come for me ,
don't sent out the life boats,
just let me go down...

...

Drifting to the earth,
The center of life itself.
Swirling down and down,
Deeper into my self...
I see a light,
glittering in the night,
It seems so far but not out of reach.
I can touch it now and it fills my heart...
What is this sensation that pulls me apart.

I'm loosing the old and watching it go.
Flushed down to bottom of the ocean floor-
I've never floated like this before.

You didn't give up now I cant let go.
You held my hand, and you'll stay for ever I know;
I've found new hope.

Now I can breathe, I'm headed for the surface,
No false feelings to impede.
I'm going to make it, don't take your eyes off me.
I'm almost there now and I'm breaking free.

I was once lifeless, like dust on the ground
Not a care in the world not even a sound.
But then you appeared; my light in the dark,
You ignored all my wishes and broke them apart.

Finally I see I had to die to me to get free
That's how you came to be, you've been here all along
Your the one who sang the song.
Put my cold heart at peace, wrapped your arms around me
And now I can sleep.

Been Thinking

You 'know I have been thinking.
I liked this blog, and I don't want to just drop it... So... I decided to add something, since I still cant access my hardrive to extract my dreams...
I'll put my writing here too, my little excerpts and feelings... Silly little things like that.

I didn't want it to just die... so inspired by a friend... I'll give you something new up next!

Oh no!

I apologize for the lack of updates, I have been dreaming, its just that the computer I saved those dreams onto is experiencing major technical difficulties (try blue screen of death every few minutes). I managed to save them onto my porta-drive but the damn thing is locked and I have to download the software from the drive in order  to unlock it >:( Thats something I cant do on this computer. So until I wipe mine (hopefully today) looks like updates will be sparse and in between. My apologies again... to all the one of you that actually read this.

Dream August 27, 2010 Star wars?

Ok.

I believe this began in the afternoon or evening, I was dressed up a little and the family was going to church.
I went into a bathroom on the left of the hall with my mom and brother (we were going down a large hallway)
and everything was brown. (Except the people) there was someone in there I didn't know. So I went into one of the stalls to change into other clothes ( ended up changing like twice XD) But the stall door came up to my waste and that was really weird. I'm pretty modest, not too keen on people see'n my lady bits.
There was a box in the corner for me to choose from, I dont remember exactly what happened first, I know there was drama and what I was wearing was blue. Also the building ended up being not church later; It was this little old attic type of building that was on stilts with stairs down to the the ground below. Sort of like the house from that Lemony Snicket movie. It was kind of warrish out side, so I ended up changing again into more appropriate fighting clothes. Jean shorts with camo stuff. and a thick shirt. Finally after eating stuff we went outside.
My friend Rebecca was out there, she had a mineature ATAT (starwars) that she liked to drive,
I tried reasoning with her that it was a dumb move because they cant go more than 5mph, literally.But her reasoning with me was that her boyfriend had tricked it out but she could only drive it like that when he was there because she didn't know how to do it yet.I was pretty much a messenger after that, I did alot of running back and forth and telling people things but there was no actual warring. The sky was a dark reddish hue like at nighttime in war movies, and the ground was torn up everywhere with artillery and everything. It was weird.

oops...

This doesn't belong here DX

August 17, 2010

Two dreams in one night with no break is extremely rare for me.

Ok so the first one was sort of like an occupation, I don't recall ever actually leaving the building and there were staircases lots of them allways going up; and dream logic would have me let you know theat there was an emergency staircase like a fire escape on the out side. I know that because one night a pair left my restaurant via said fireescape.

 When you first walk in its like its at the very end of a building. You open the door there is a brief hallway, the right wall extended slightly and then the left opens up into the seating area, there's a part of the face left wall that occasionally appears longer, depending on where you stand. On the right theree's an open door into a cooking space and next to that is an open counter door where items are rung up and food is served. right next tot that would be hte regester, similar to panera or the Vista room, and a cold case of some sort. I dont know if it had icees or pretzels or pizza in it not really sure but at one piont while we were Super busy it spilled and it was imperative that I clean it up, Red got all over the floor in slush consistency and I had to mop it up.

When you walk in the entrance and turn right like you were going into the cooking part you are presented with asteel table in the center of the room. notes and boxes all arround the shelves and tops. There's an oven at the end of the table, another table and a sink on the wall to the right, next to that a water coler or something round.
On the left a slice of the wall has been cut out lke a long slit for food to be handed through. the wall is whole except for that slice, and infront of it is a condiment area like at Subway. On the other side of the wall theres a small preparation table some 'stuff' not sure what. where servers muk about; beyond that is a counter with a slit just like Paneras but it doesnot connect to the cieling.

Sadly I dont recall many events of this place cept maybe too. One was a young woman came in and sat down at a table then a large group came in and we kind of asked her politely to move out of the way so we could combine the group, I think she left or moved to another table. I didn't spend alot of time in the back, the dream just told me what it looked like. I know the buliding was tall and thin and that we were in the city.
I spent alot of time running up and down the stair cases, and time cleaning up things in that shop. there was allways something a mess in there similar to my own job irl. all Aong the stairs there were allways door s to appartments and the like, occasionally residents would send their children to retrieve an order.  . I wish I knew more...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The second dream took place in my own neighbor hood.
It was pouring down rain and I was going to go with my mom to I guess speedway or something,
but I had to run down the street to her car and by the time I got to her car, and the end of my street (which isn't very long), she had gotten out. Feeling bad about getting the seat wet I climbed in the back I was extremely soaked wet (luckily I didn't wet the bed, for people who dream of rain have this tendency? but what woke me up was very loud thunder VERY loud thunder and pouring rain!)

There was some stuff in the back of her car I waited for her to return, getting out and looking arround. The end of my street allways changes a little bit every time I have a dream there was a little shop there this time, but speedway was still down the road.
I dont know what happened here, I may have woken up to the storm I'm not sure but where I staretd next was similar to that little shop.

I only remember scenes from this part.
Something similar to an apocolypse had come and all that was left were three groups of peoples.

Me and my own, rainbow pucu like things, and the horsemen who looked like ghosts.
I only remember running and doing plenty of fighting with the other ones, we did kill alot of puchu's they were like a weird mix between puchu's and furbies, I dont know how to describe them @_@...
I remeber someone in the tunnels telling us that the puchu's had found water, and everyone was super excited... so we ran, as fast as we could, chopping down everything in our path untill you could hear it, and before us (in 3rd person view) was a broken pipe water gushing and foaming from within.

Everyone was so excited then the horsemen came... they were jelous I think, unhappy to say the least, because we had cut down some of their race... but we were all fighting to begin with I just dont know why.
I didn't see much of my self, I was mostly a follower, there was a really tall guy with white hair though, he was kind of a jerk...

The most real part of the dream that i remember is when we and the horsemen came together... we were offering a truce. We had discovered water (at the expence of a few of the other race...)
and they came out and monologed with us their leader and I watched mine with some influence.

"Listen, you may not understand this but up in space my people have a secret, there is a sattelite computer so that should any of my people die their memories and person can be brought back to life, we can never die because we are all saved inside that computer..." (Like Silence in the Library)

It was like a metal, sparking electrical blue light doughnut bug thing. They seemed to discuss it a little as though the horsemen were willing to trade saing our lives and water...The next thing I remember is being in a space ship but not really. It was alot like a roller coaster bench, you're strapped in but there were no oxygen masks and there are four seats in a row not just two...
it was very odd; and we weren't secured down all that well either because the girl I could see a few ships over was floating a bit.

So we hovered arround this giant sparking space thing and the horsemen began talking about knowledge and books, and I remember there had been a book in my moms car. Then he starts talking about pokemon or something. and he starts handing these books to people (they looked like manuals) like 'you will make a fine warrior, and you..." he turns to me,

"You look like the sort to be an asshole and just... Graphic Interrior design, with gems and shiny stones and furniture (what ever those little round things you find in pokemon are the ones you dig up in the caves?)"
He sort of floats me this book and on the cover was the female pokemon girl from diamond in the underground mining sparkly things... I wasnt sure what to think.

And thats the best and most descriptive I can be, I know there must be more that happened but I just cand seem to remember... Weird am I rite?

August 9, 2010. Futuristic?

The way it started I'm not even sure, I was more of a watcher this go around.

 He was a man, probably looked something like the doctor and we were rescuing people from 'them'. We were like pilgrims from the future on the run from alien attack. They were weird, sort of like big dogs with rough core plating and whiskers. Like something out of Avitar. When he and I, and our team jumped back and forth from our time to theirs, and from their time to our own; we kept an eye on the people. We kept them in a series of connected bubble-tents, and they were ready to run.

You  could almost hear them, coming up over the hill on the far side, so I strode up to the last remaining building, a large ware-house type, and I swung open the door. It was quite clear, an old Once-Upon-A-Child (like a goodwill for kids). As soon as I had the door open they made a run for it, all cramming inside an rushing after me. Our hemstress (woman who sews things, like a seamstress) was absolutely amazed, she had never seen anything like it before at all.

She appeared as though she may have a heart attack she was so enthralled, there were beautiful dresses on the first few racks, and on the walls, and on the left there was sports wear. The dresses were gorgeous, one was green with black lace, they were color-organized and had sparkles, some were silk and some touched the floor. Looking around, the building I could tell it was getting dark outside from the shades of grey through the windows close to the ceiling.

 At one point I flashed back to climbing into the tunnels back in their time to lead these people to safety. They were fast, but on adrenalin we made it, but without the laser guns and preparation for our big move we probably wouldn't have.

Everything was on a rack in the Ouac building, there was clothing neatly-organized everywhere. The hemstress was panicking because she didn't know where to hang the knickers she'd been sewing. Despite my rolling of eyes, I went with a few other people to hunt down some empty racks. Getting them apart was a pain though, since they are the rolling kind and made of steel.


While we were in the back of the building I noticed a door that seemed to lead into an office. I wanted to turn on the lights but I kept forgetting we couldn't because in their time, these pilgrims had no "over head light" plus the invaders.

I did get that door open though even though I waited until morning to go in. It was some woman's office (she had a striking resemblance to Martha Stewart, not to mention her office was in spick condition. The whole office had a "dark side of buzz lightyear" future feel to it. Even the laptop computer had little orange pads for keys and a mouse. She and I discussed something about protection but I cant say for sure.

Later in the morning I was showing a group of teens around, me and two or three girls and two boys. I was trying to explain to them the concept of a t-shirt. The girl had a really cool shirt on actually, it was pumpkin orange and when she turned you could see the Bolraug on it. She was in a bad mood though, I think it was because one of the guys made her put the shirt on (obviously for science) there fore she was huffy.

I miss the aisles and aisles of neat-looking clothes, as I was walking about explaining things to the pilgrims we encountered an oriental type section with some odd uniforms, and symbols. It was like a robe-tunic thing with a black-gold embossed symbol on the front. There were several different patterns, all hanging on a blanket rack. As soon as the Pilgrims saw them they began wailing and moaning about being attacked by vikings. They cried about loosing a beloved comrad and a great warrior, complete with a flashback of him fighting valiantly and then laying arms crossed while they burned the body. My dream was sad for them, as bright reality flashed me back to real life.

I hate it when someone turns the light on while I'm sleeping.